Sex and the City!

I love Saturday mornings! I love to sit, eat a long breakfast while reading the newspaper and dream away listening to Jazz. Now, I'm waiting for Maya to get her ass out of bed to come hang out before I were to take myself to the airport.

Why Sex and the City? I hardly watch the sitcom till they almost ended. I kinda enjoyed it but was never something I'll go crazy about.
So, when the movie came out couples days ago and the whole city women folks gone wild; my gal friends were hoping to buy advance tickets so we can all go together! Alas, it never worked out. I just shake my head and listen to them go on and on and on and on.......................Sex and the City.

So, when Dawn came back from the movie last night in her killer Samantha look-alike dress with boa hanging off her buttocks, I drilled her for the entire contents since I won't be watching it till it comes out on DVD.
And when the commotion started at the dinner table (with waiters waiting for us to leave so they can go get drunk) about who's has the same personality as the characters - I was heading into trouble cos' I have no idea what the girls were talking about. I would rather they talk about Lord of the Rings, Matrix or Jane Austin but alas, I am with a bunch of Sex obsessed City girls - I'm out of luck. We started guessing what Marilyn is most like?
I guessed Carrie while Dawn thinks I'm most like Miranda.

I went ahead and did the test this morning out of curiosity. I actually took two tests. And voila, I am most like Carrie.

"Is it possible to be an old-fashioned romantic and a fashion plate for the modern age, all at once? Somehow, you make it work. You're a living contradiction: intelligent and worldly, yet constantly surprised by what life throws at you; fiercely independent, yet desperately longing for lasting love."

Now, Dawn will be so jealous cos' she wanted so much to be like Carrie!
I can see how we are alike. Carrie is a column writer and I keep my own blog page, she loves fashion and I was in the fashion business for donkey years, I am a dreamer and can be quirky and does indeed have a closet full of clothes and shoes (to Charlotte disbelief!!!). My condo supervisor warned me if I ever collaspe the wardrobe again, they'll have to charge me for repair (after doubling bolting the bars in the closest). And I just moved into the building!

So, in true Carrie-like fashion tonight, I will only need to pack my Manilo Blahniks and an extra pair of Jimmy Cho to Nova Scotia.

And its time for dear Maya to get out of bed and get her ass to the cafe now. Everyone in the cafe is so relax, either reading the newspaper or maybe like me, blogging away on their laptop.

p.s: Since I did the quiz, I am now bombarded with comments from facebook! Women power!

Titbits

well, I have a lot of things I want to write today but its been such a weird day, I lost all my thoughts and plans.

First, it was absolutely beautiful outside and then I have a small garden party, looks like it at the garden. With kids, friends and staff hanging out.
Yet, hardly anyone comes into the cafe except of the regulars - thank God for them :)
and Ken Tolmie of The Tolmie gallery came in to the cafe on his weekly visits. Now, this is becoming his favorite hang-out and my new found friend. He went to fetch his partner but came back empty handed. I offered him a hug but he was too shy so I gave him a e-hug and he smiles. That's good.

We chatted and watched a CBC documentary on him and also some of his current works. Still no customers. I am fast becoming desperate :), blaming the electrician for back ordering my chimney for two weeks and the sign for the cafe has already came down. I can't put my new sign up till the chimney is up. and no chimney!!!!

Yet, I feel such great camaraderie with those who came in. Like now, Michael, Bruce and Jamie (all customers) and I are hanging out on the couch. Talking about the neighborhood. These are fun people and my first few customers.

Now, I am slowly adding to my list of regulars and and its really neat to see my community growing. We are relaxing, which I badly needed and are taking it all in and have a good perspective of the situation. No Sign, no chimney, no customers and competitors are edging in closer - lets have a party! Might as well have fun.

And it was fun today, Ken started photographing me for his project (totally self conscious) and we bought his partner some treats for his visits and made plans to visit her together after one of my shifts. Next time, its my turn to tell my story. Discuss life and continue to bond.

Sometimes, cafe can be such a life lesson, lesson on perspective, patience, friendship, listening ear, hugs, encouragement and a place for others to feel they matter. Kinda like social work. And I'm just the link.

And Happy Earth Day! We are doing the candle light thing tonight. No electricity. Just candles.

Skill of Listening

I really think I hate listening. Or borned with the handicapped of listening. Or I listen too well I tuned people out. Or I am such a super sonic fast pacer, I lost them at "hello".

Maybe its the hard truth that I shun but whichever may be, listening is problematic.

Last few days, maybe I have this power of sending signals out to others that I needed help; people came into the cafe and told me how to run the cafe. I told myself to listen and not to defend myself. It is personal when others come to you and offer you free advise when I wasn't seeking for it.

But I do like some of the advise after chewing on it for a moment. I don't mind hearing free given comments and advice, really! Just how it is being delivered. One man told me the 101 ways of marketing and making money. At least I was lured into his net thinking he was the guru I have been waiting for till he gently told me not in so many words, he could do it at a fee. It was the way things were being delivered. Fast and furious and when I started defending myself and the cafe; it became a personal attack.

I also have another who told me I need to push lunch menu. These are all good suggestions!

Finally, one person told me how hideous the cheap tables and chairs look till he passed by them to the back room and was blown away by the character of the back room and patio. He gave constructive suggestions on what will work and what doesn't.
I like him right away. He has a wry humor and come across as a big S.N.O.B. but with completely good intention! I can word fight with him and know we are having fun.

Listening for me is very challenging. Especially when addressing things i.e, the cafe. It is personal to me. It is my baby. But, I really believe if I listen carefully and with an open heart ( my mouth tightly shut and smile), I can find precious gem from it.

Through it all, I have to really ask myself what is the cafe all about? Is it hoping to capture everything and yet nothing? Trying to be like the hip cafe down the street with tonnes of money to burn? It is a very confusing and stressful time, starting a new business. I can be easily sidetracked and might make decision that will costs me without properly thinking it through.
I have to constantly ask myself what is my cafe all about? What is my business plan?

To me, my cafe is all about community; networking and a business that is ethical in its operation. I want to see the cafe as a hub for forums, open mikes and discussions. A place filled with creativity and one that is fun and promote the arts and travels. At the same time offering quality products that will make the cafe become a money tree. So I can save the world! ~ Ha!

So, with all the listening skill I can hardly managed, I have to listen to the voice that speaks my kinda Java.
And I have Daniel Frank and Russell Bennett to thank. They are such a wonder to listen to.

And by the way, we are starting our first forum in the cafe on social and global changes in China and how that is affecting us here in Canada and people around the world. A professor from UofT teaching Asia history will be the speaker in this event. More update is to come!

Okay, you can now tune me out or did I lost you at Hello?

Summer is Coming!

It's raining heavily outside and such a downer on a brand new week. But it does feel like we need a rest after a wonderful sunny weekend filled with activities. Its like a we need to pack so much into the weekend since we never know when the sun will stay.

The cafe was very busy and it was wonderful to see everyone using the hammock and see everyone enjoy the back patio!

Even Second City came and had a party at the patio after their improv session. It was fun watching people getting comfortable.

So, hopefully, this will be a great slow start to a whole new week. And may Summer stay with us!

Be Authentic

Trevor came in again the other day and I think he feels too comfortable with me. He tried getting a tab for his coffee. I tried to get him do odd jobs in exchange for free coffee but he refuses to work. Oh well!

This is when I realized I need to have boundary. As much as I wish to help someone, they themselves first must see the need and willingness to change. I cannot change anyone's life, even if I am God. Even God gives free will to us all homo- sapien.
Later, Trevor came and tried selling me women's clothing for coffee. I have to laugh at his creativity.

If anything needed change - it is myself. I am beginning to understand sometimes we can't have everything we want. And what we want may not be good for us - I can't see it at this moment. "I WANT IT"! is all I can think.

The more I isolate (myself), the more I get to see myself. Recently, I am beginning to become comfortable with self. Seeing all my quirks and weaknesses; willing my insecurities to come to the surface and deal with it slowly. To get clarity. I learned I must be authentic ; to self and to others. No assumption (according to Michael, a customer). Patiently waiting for myself to be ready to accept the revelations I see in my own heart.

So, when Ken Tolmie (need to brag a little since I do not have the chance to meet so many creative people all in the same day) and another famous writer came to my cafe two days in a row, I gave him my best service. And when I pointed out he has the same style as Alex Colville,
he went on to tell me Alex was his teacher. We talked, we laughed and he would point out to me the many famous people that walked into my cafe - namely Alice Munro.
There are a few more famous people that graced my cafe. All unknown to me. Yikes!
There is authentic communication and a mutual liking of the other. There is no pride, no arrogance and no pretention.

There is laughter and genuine authenticity. And I see that a lot with people in my cafe.

Joy in the moment

Finally, we have the back patio ready and opened it today to public. Lots of people love the idea and some used it despite of the chill. It was a lot of cleaning, planting and assembling of patio sets by dear Lay, Tony and Chris over the weekend. I went to Guelph and bought a couple of hammocks from a NGO. I couldn't have it done without them and I am so thankful of the many help I have had over the weekend. And the drive to Guelph was fun too with two comrade from South America.

Now with the holiday over and stomach full of BBQ, the roaster is in the cafe waiting to be installed. We did some roasting and cupping of coffee first time here at the cafe and some customers came and do a selection of our beans. I am looking forward to start roasting once the engineer installed the chimney and gas line. Its a lot of coordination with my awning personnel and also the city. I was told I might need to even hire the police to patrol in front of the cafe due to busy street.

I hope I get to choose the policemen and I sure hope they like coffee :)

On a side note, I saw Trevor(not his real name) today finally after being absence for a week. I was impressed with him. He came into the cafe all dressed up, cleaned up and even had a hair cut. He looked really proper. It touches my heart to see how the cafe can be a comfort to those in need. After spending 5 weeks with Trevor, I get to know him better and realized sometimes in life, we all need a little boast and someone to talk to. Someone to treat us like we matter.
Despite the difficulty and possible emotional drain, I am so glad we could do it here.

Happy Tuesday.

Tribute to PoPo (gran)

PoPo - that is my name for her. PoPo is my maternal grandmother. PoPo died at a ripe old age of 99 in her sleep at mom's on May 18th 2008.
PoPo became ill almost two years ago and starting living with mom full-time. She was in and out of hospital and became too weak to walk and mom took on the whole responsibility of caring for her.

I remembered as a child, I would visit PoPo once a week at her house in the city. I would call out to her "PoPo, PoPo I'm here!". She would come out of the kitchen and asked if I had eaten. And she would proceed back to the kitchen and get a meal ready for my family. Slowly the rest of the uncles came with their families and we will have a family get-together the entire weekend.

PoPo was a construction worker. She came to Singapore alone, leaving her family behind and worked as a SamSui women. Grandpa died at a very young age and it was left to PoPo to take care of her six children and mom is the only daughter. As long as I remember, PoPo is always doing something and will nap in the afternoon on her hard pillow (which I often teased her). She ran her household efficiently and quietly. PoPo to me, is a woman of few words and as a young child, she has never reprimanded me nor told me I have to behave myself. I often spent my summer holidays at her home. And enjoyed a very free childhood. She would cook and wash after Dennis and I. Even when I was really bad, she was never the person to reprimand me.

One of my favorite pass-time was to listen to the radio together with PoPo. I love horror story and I would huddle next to her and scared myself silly listening to horror stories. She just laughed at me and shakes her head. We would sometimes visit some of her Samsui friends. And to me, that was a different world, a world I never understood very well. I am often facinated by the long dark dirty corridor and small apartments I saw. I would asked PoPo why were they so poor but she never answer me.

When I became a teenager, my visits to PoPo became lesser as I slowly began to live my own life, gaining my worldly experiences. But PoPo came to me instead. Later, PoPo moved into an apartment and thats when I felt she became less happy. She moved away from everything she knew, her friends, her independence and her life she knew for almost half a century.

I moved to Hong Kong. It was later at one of mom's visit I found out more of PoPo. PoPo ran away from home in China. I was told she accidentally killed her child while running a bath for the baby and got afraid and left. She later met grandpa in Singapore who was her foreman at work and he often helped her read her letters. After one such letters informing her of the death of her husband, grandpa married her.

To me, PoPo was a very strong and independent woman. She ran away from a life that wasn't what she wanted and created a life despite all hardship and against all odds. I will miss her dearly and will forever hold her in my heart.

I am so thankful and glad I have had the chance to spend some time with her in March.

This Day's Encouragement

Quote: "The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual -- for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost". --M. Scott Peck

Today is a busy day for me at the cafe. I try sitting down to write my blog but wasn't able to focus and complete it. I am happy its a bright sunny day and I have visitors visiting me from the neighborhood. It is such a heart warming experience when friends come and visit me while at work. I am encouraged by their support and each visit helped me through moments of self- doubt and stress of operating a new business (and I spend all my time at the cafe!).
I am thankful of every opportunity at the cafe to meet with friends; for customers to call it their second home and for us to build our community around each other and the neighborhood.

Today is a day of encouragement and I am going to steal a page I found on the net regarding " Gandhi's Top 10 fundamentals for changing the world".

I am encouraged by many today. I am encouraged by many who came into the cafe and tell me how delicious our coffee is and encouraged by people wanting to buy my beans even when I am not ready to sell them. I am encouraged by the community passing words out about the cafe and some customers helped put up flyers at their buildings. Am encouraged when they dropped in to see how I am doing and one even dropped me a truffle as a perk me up.

This is a day of encouragement!

Espresso Hottub?

Things are getting a little exciting here at the cafe. I am in the midst of opening my back patio and been cracking my head how to get everything together at a very short time. (See, I am importing two slaves from Nova Scotia and I have to make sure they do everything I make them do). Ha!
Imagine that!

Lay and I were talking about where I can buy hammocks and we laughed at how we should fixed a outdoor shower facility for those in real need of shower and how I wanted a water fountain at the patio so people could relax and feel at rest while sipping their perfectly pulled espresso.
And Lay came up with a fabulous idea, even I was tempted.

"What about an espresso hot tub"? - he smirked. I roared out laughing visualizing what weird things could happen, thinking of all the benefits of having an espresso hot tub. It'll be like the chocolate spa in Japan where people bath in the health benefits of chocolate! (yucks!)
I imagine getting my 5 minutes fame by having my face plastered all over T.V stations - featuring my organic fair trade espresso hot tub. And how there'll be lines of people waiting to get a natural high soak. Too funny.
I am indeed in the right neighborhood for it.

It was a good moment of laughter! The crazy brain storming session momentarily took me away from the daily stress of operating a new business, from tiredness and from feeling overwhelm with everything in my life.

So, come this weekend (Victoria day), I will be hanging hammocks at my back patio. I found the hammocks through a NGO from Nicaragua selling them to raise funds. I will be putting benches and lots of potted flowers and patio sets at the back. Maybe, I'll even give in and have a hot tub , serving espressotini. And while my two slaves are here, get them to feed me chocolate covered espresso beans.
Alas, it is just a thought.....Hmmmm, maybe!

Presenting Coffee

Coffee is the second largest traded commodity in the world yet it continues to be a market lacking improvements and knowledge to those who cultivate it. Most farmers do not know anything about how the market is operated, do not know the value of coffee and do not have any idea the prices coffee is fetching.

On the other hand, till recent years, not much was taught about coffee to the customers as well. Till a bunch of coffee connoisseurs broke into the market and make coffee a premium product - appreciated just like wine. There became a specialty market for gourmet coffee and smaller micro roaster popping up and specialize in roasting coffee in small batches, to its best quality. If you have yet the chance to know the difference; I beg you to find a local micro roaster and learn the differences in each variety of coffee and regions where coffee comes from. Learn how different roasting affects the chemistry of coffee and how coffee is best cup fresh.

The more I learned about coffee, the more I realized there is more to it. From the land to the trees; the flowers to the fruit and the hands that picked it. Then there is the milling, the roasting, the cupping, the technical aspect of pulling a great shot. All in all, a lot of things go into the cup before it reaches into your hands.

Now, when I pull a shot of espresso, its like a Holy Grail to me.

(these photographs are taken from a farm from my recent visit to El Salvador)

Is Fair Trade beneficial?

I remembered a conversation I had with one of the farmer from Guatamala last year. I remembered our discussions on how fair trade is giving the local community a chance to help themselves and also create a foundation for self sustainability. I remember his passion when he mentioned how some innocent farmers were in harm's way when they try to help themselves. To some farmers out there, they do pay a price to fight for their rights. Some sacrifice their lives to achieve the right to farm, right to have a fair and just existent side by side us.

8 months later, I opened my own fair trade cafe. I sell mainly fair trade coffees and I am passionate about social justices and how I through my cafe can contribute to a fairer way of trading and business operation.
Since the fair trade movement and the push by masses, coffee prices has risen and this in return allow farmers to work in their land and not travel over to North America and work in factory or grow narcotics on their farms.

Fair trade is a movement, its a conscious decision on how we consume, where we consume and consciously thinking of how our actions affected others locally and globally. The world is no longer as separated as we think it to be.

Fair trade started as a very noble effort to help support farmers be self sustainable. Now, fair trade has slowly gone mainstream. Many coffee shops have since opened and sell fair trade coffees, teas, sugars and cocao. And in return, it has gotten fair trade a bad rep. Saying it no longer is a social justice effort but became commerical. Even Walmart sells fair trade coffees now. Is it bad?

I can go on a separate discussion on this but we have to look at the positive side. As long as the farmers are promised a fair price for their coffees, they should be allowed to trade with anyone they desire. - its call progressive. As long as everything is traded fairly to the farmers; if they have already learned to understand market prices and already learned how to defend for themselves and learned the skills of trading - then no one can take advantage of them. And they can go on and become successful and run a successful co-op. Isn't this what we are all aiming for?

We use the free market ground to sell fair trade products, hoping to make fair trade equal to that of any merchandise on the market. Fair trade products should be competitive, should be of quality but most importantly, we hope the mass market has learned to raise the bar of what is fair, what is just and what it is to treat others and the earth with respect. Then fair trade has done its job!